At times, I have a divided heart. A divided focus. A divided mind. A divided faith.
And the reason is simple.
I have a fear of the future.
What’s going to happen to me? Will I always be provided for? Will I always have enough money to have everything I need? What’s going to happen to me in my old age? Will the money be there? Will I always have a car?
And the worries get to me. They sometimes preoccupy my thoughts.
Sunday’s sermon, on May 18, 2025, was for me. Especially when I just listened to it for the second time on our church’s app.
Because sometimes I’m divided.
And the sermon encouraged me to seek God. The title of the sermon, “Seeking is Believing,” covered the verses in Matthew 6:25-34, which talks about learning not to worry, because God clothes the flowers of the field and feeds the birds of the air.
Our youth pastor, who delivered the sermon, encouraged us to seek God because:
He sees me.
He’s got me.
He loves me.
I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
And I am encouraged to remember those times in the past when God has been with me.
I especially remember a time when I needed God more than life itself.
I was dealing with troubling mental health issues back in 2013. I was living in a group home in Houston. I had nothing to claim as my own but a rented bed and a used car.
I was going to an outpatient program to try to get my feet back under me.
And I sought God with all my heart in a prayer book my brother gave me.
And in this prayer book were scriptures that I meditated on and prayed back to God.
And when I was in the coffee shop, or in the burger restaurant, or in the break room at the outpatient program, or in the group home with people from a variety of backgrounds and struggles, I sought the Lord in this prayer book.
And He met me. And He took care of me. And He eventually secured me an apartment back home that I could afford.
He was there for me in the past. He is here for me now. And He will be there for me in the future.
I just have to trust Him.
God sees me. God’s got me. God loves me.
And that’s enough to know to help me stay undivided.
In my heart. In my mind. In my focus. In my faith.
Praise be to God.
–Ann Elizabeth Yeager